The “PAIN TRAIN” is the Official Vehicle of the Rabid Wolf Club. It plays many roles, such as tailgate headquarters, clubhouse, and road trip apparatus. It has been known to “violently engage all challenges,” particularly with its questionable steering and brakes.

The PAIN TRAIN has a rich and colorful history. It began life in 1965 as a Greyhound Bus. After a few million miles, the PAIN TRAIN knew something was missing in it’s life, and broadened it’s horizons. It went down south to Birmingham, and was the bus on which Rosa Parks famously refused to give up her seat. It then spent a year abroad, working it’s way around the world doing a number of different things. For a while, it subbed for the double-decker busses in London, England. It then made it’s way to the USSR, smuggling freedom loving passengers out from behind the Iron Curtain. Moving eastward, it worked it’s way across Asia as part of the Orient Express. It remains the only bus to ever drive on top of the Great Wall, while transporting President Richard Nixon and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger on their momentous trip to China. It ended up in Saigon, where it transported the last of the US embassy workers out of South Vietnam, just before the communist takeover. After hitching a ride on a tramp steamer, the PAIN TRAIN needed a little R&R, and hung out on Maui, taking bicyclists to the top on Mount Haleakala.

Ultimately however, fame beckoned. The PAIN TRAIN became the official tour bus for Jimi Hendrix, rocking and rolling all over the United States. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse when Jimi was found dead onboard in 1970. There was a nasty, and unfounded rumor that diesel fumes were involved, but the PAIN TRAIN was ultimately exonerated by an autopsy on the deceased rocker. It was also the inspiration for the hit song “Magic Bus” by British rock greats, The Who. Despite it’s overwhelming success in the glittery world of Rock & Roll, the PAIN TRAIN decided to take on a new challenge. It decided to try it’s luck in Hollywood.

After starting with a few bit parts in a number of television shows and movies, playing Greyhound busses, New York city busses, etc., the PAIN TRAIN, in order to grow as an artist and to avoid being typecast, went after much meatier roles, roles that took great determination. It starred alongside Marlon Brando in “A Streetcar Named Desire.” To show it’s versatility, the PAIN TRAIN auditioned for, and with it’s rock & roll history, easily won the role of the bus in the Partridge Family TV series. It is a little known fact that the show ended due to creative differences between the PAIN TRAIN and secondary star David Cassidy. One of it’s more memorable roles was in the hit movie “Stripes.” Writer and co-star Harold Ramis said that while the original script called for an Urban Assault Rickshaw, when he found out that the PAIN TRAIN was available, he immediately changed it to an Urban Assault Vehicle. The rest is movie history. The PAIN TRAIN’s most famous role would have to be the lead in “Speed.” The PAIN TRAIN is generally credited with discovering then little-known actors Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. The snub of the PAIN TRAIN by the Academy at that years Oscar’s is still talked about today. It is believed that is the reason that the PAIN TRAIN decided not to reprise it’s role in the much inferior sequel, “Speed 2.” After losing out on the lead in “The Hunt for Red October” (it had always dreamed of working with Sean Connery), the PAIN TRAIN seemed to go into a tailspin. Much like other stars of it’s generation, PAIN TRAIN became the subject of a number of rumors of extra-curricular dalliances with other stars. It is believed that Kate Hudson began her string of off-screen romances with the PAIN TRAIN while the two starred in “Almost Famous.” It is not true that PAIN TRAIN ran over three members of the paparazzi trying to take pictures of the two on the beach in Malibu. Some people still believe that Kit, star of the hit TV show “Knight Rider” is the offspring of PAIN TRAIN’s short lived, and ill-fated affair with Herbie the Love Bug (who, just the opposite of Lassie, was actually a female playing the part of a male). No DNA testing was ever done, and therefore no actual proof exists, despite the allegations of David Hasselhoff.

Due to the innuendo, PAIN TRAIN left Hollywood to do a bit of soul searching. It is rumored that it studied for a while in Tibet with the Dalai Lama, but that can not be confirmed. It is true that it spent some time in Oklahoma, as a Baptist church bus. It’s work there with troubled youth is legendary. While there it took on a vow of poverty, preferring to wear sackcloth and ashes, (as seen in the before pictures). Having re-centered and re-energized itself, PAIN TRAIN was ready to move on to it’s greatest role.

Today, the PAIN TRAIN proudly wears the red, black and white as the Official Vehicle of the Rabid Wolf Club. While the PAIN TRAIN is happy to pose for photographs, it prefers not to sign autographs any more, and the members of the Rabid Wolf Club ask that request be respected at all outings.