There are a group of grifters working the southeast part of the United States who can also be referred to as television evangelists, snake oil salesmen, con men or in one of their latest moves a flim-flammer.  I’m going to rant on how this group has tormented not only me but many others for the past 20 plus years.

This group is involved with college sports, specifically football and basketball.  There are four varieties of of the Snakenut, Dease and Hazeltoun are the primary Snakenuts supported by Dingle and Dummy.

Dease has worked in college basketball for years where he helped to orchestrate a coup that resulted in a trip to the big dance some six years later.  While at the prom Dease worked his magic and spread tall tales that resulted in him being rewarded with a monumental raise based upon fear that a rival had offered him a job.  Years later after recruiting teams filled with guards, losing to divsion two schools, proclaiming we haven’t worked on a zone defense and the classic “We dug ourselves a mountain” Dease’s teams never made it back to the dance.  Instead of saying goodbye at the end of his contract he was rewarded with a new three year deal and a REDUCED salary.  To anyone else that would have been a slap in the face but from his reaction one would’ve have thought he had just won the national championship.  After much deliberation he finally moved on to another school where he watches Oprah reruns for inspiration instead of working on the zone defense. 

Hazeltoun has worked his way through college football programs like Exlax in a retirement home.  Assisted by his lesser brother Dummy, Hazeltoun has robbed two major programs of around NINE (in my Dr. Evil voice) MILLION dollars is the past five years.  The most amazing thing about him is that he can get a school to hire him even after they know what he did or didn’t do at the previous program.  He has an uncanny way of taking another coaches recruits and literally motivating them to win for a couple of years until the fans realize he can’t coach or recruit and they are forced to pay his contract off.  His latest screw job could result in my team losing it’s leader to the school Hazeltoun was fired from while running out of Oxford with a bag of cash.

Bottom line is that this group of gypsies have in one way or another tormented me for years.  I wish someone of authority would exile them to Bolivia.