What if I told you…
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Touched by a Champangel
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Here we are again.  College football is over.  For all of us in the RWC, some things seem eerily familiar while others turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

Things that Stayed the Same

  1. We Lost a Coach and Hired a Stellar Replacement –  Coach Harsin and the new coaching staff has the full support of the RWC and vice versa, as evidenced by their quick decision to follow the RWC on Twitter.
  2. The RWC had an Awesome Experience in Mobile – Unlike the majority of the Red Wolves’ fan base, the RWC was excited to return to the GoDaddy.com Bowl.  In fact, we liked it so much that we decided to repeat the 2012 agenda completely.  We ate at the same places, did the same activities, and performed the same roles.  The Possum played possum, Jonas played stepdaddy, and the Colonel played annoying (although we all know he wasn’t playing)
  3. Ladd Peebles Stadium is a Dump, located in the Ghetto – Maybe thinking this would be different or “not as bad as we remembered” was just wishful thinking.  There’s no way around it… that stadium is terrible.

Things That Were MUCH Better

  1. The Outcome of the Game – It would have been hard for the game to turn out worse than last year, but nonetheless, winning the bowl game makes the drive back MUCH more enjoyable.  Our team played hard until the final seconds to pull out our first bowl when since joining the FBS and our first win against a ranked opponent.
  2. Coaching Staff Consistency – This group of misfit GA’s actually showed a lot of character by sticking around to coach ASU during the bowl game.  This ALMOST makes up for the fact that they never took the Auburn stickers, magnets, and license plates off their vehicles.
  3. The Champangel – It was by mere luck a couple of our members found themselves at a certain restaurant for brunch last year. These pioneering members got to experience what would come to be known to us throughout the year as “The Mimosa Fairy.”  This year, Sunday brunch became a required activity.  Turns out, we had been referring to this heavenly being by the wrong name.  Also, turns out that this year’s Champangel was a definite upgrade from last years, but how MUCH of an upgrade is still left up to debate to be settled in the living rooms or subsequent guest bedrooms of certain members of the RWC.

Note: Due to the sensitive nature of the champangel experience by certain stakeholders in the RWC extended family, the author of this post shall remain anonymous. 

The Music Malzahn
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The past year for Arkansas State University Football can be compared to the movie Groundhog Day in just about every way.  However I view Gus Malzahn as the modern day Professor Harold Hill from the musical/movie The Music Man.

Malzahn had a very detailed plan on how he would get back to the big leagues.  He knew we had a team custom made for winning with offensive fire power.  Soooo, he called us (ASU), we jumped, he negotiated his buy out down, he knew Auburn couldn’t win with Chizik’s pro style offense, and that Chizik would be fired at the end of the 2012 season.  The only question Gus had for himself was if he could really be a head coach?  After a bumpy start he proved he could be and rolled to a 9-3 Sunbelt Conference Championship.

Just like Professor Harold Hill, Gus came in and gained the trust of the fans, boosters, and anyone else that would listen to his pitch.  You know, “Buckle up, we’re getting ready to take this thing to the next level!”  “This is a long term deal.”, “All of these people who say he’s only going to be here one year, don’t know me very well.”  “I’ve got a vision for this program, taking it to the next level.”  “I’ve told people I want to make Arkansas State the Boise State of the South.”  One of the most recent quotes, and I’m paraphrasing, was where Gus said he loved being back in Arkansas because this was the first year since being a football coach he was able to go visit his mother on Mother’s Day.  What a lying sack of %@*^.

Ole Gus knew what he was doing, playing us like a bunch fools.  In the process of taking us to the next level, he was spending money we don’t have, and crafting a 2013 football schedule that’s absolutely terrible with five home games and a game in Little Rock  against an FCS team.  That’s NECK level.

He really did a job on the entire A-STATE nation.  Many of us are happy he’s gone.  He was never a personable guy, community oriented, or even wore ASU gear at all unless it was game day.  I was sad when Freeze left but that guy was genuine.  Gus was just a fraud and I’m angry the way conned ASU and it’s fans.

So with the Holiday season upon us I leave you with a quote from the movie Christmas Vacation that has been updated for our particular situation.

“Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Gus Malzahn, former ASU head coach, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber in Ridgepointe with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!@kless, hopeless, heartless, fat-@ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s@!t he is. HOWLelujah. Holy s@!t. Where’s the Tylenol?” – Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase)

SEASON”S BEATINGS!!!!

 

The Jeremiah Johnson Faction visits Oregon (and Washington).
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The Jeremiah Johnson faction of the RWC is alive and well.  Brothers Wyoming and the Judge took young McLovin under their wing once again, and headed off to Oregon.  (Had they known of the driving skills of Danica, McLovin’s first and clearly favorite wife, they might have saved the airfare and ridden with her.  They still would have gotten there before Ringo.)  These three have shown themselves to be the most willing and likely to travel to wherever the Red Wolves happen to be going, hence the Jeremiah Johnson appellation.  While there, after provisioning themselves at Voodoo Donuts, they violently engaged both the state of Oregon and Washington from high atop a rock overlooking the mighty Columbia River, and claimed all that they could see as RWC territory, much like their adventuring forefathers, Lewis and Clark, who also took along a youngster, Sacagawea.

At various times, they banded together with brothers Wally Turbeville and Ringo, and attempted to violently engage the Duck fans that crossed their path.  That turned out to be futile, as all Duck fans seem preturnaturally friendly to the fans of opposing teams.  They all seemed genuinely happy that we were there, even the hippies in downtown Eugene, particularly the hairy-armpitted, accordian playing girl.  It was as if the knew something that we didn’t.  Turns out, as we quickly found out at the game, they did.  At least the Judge and Wyoming were able to violently engage multiple desserts at coastal diner.  As has been stated before, it is not always about the outcome of the game.  Thank goodness.

STATE!!!
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The football season is set to begin this week with the Red Wolves reporting on August 1st and actual practice beginning on the third.  I won’t to do my part by trying to introduce a new catchword.

If you follow college sports at all, especially football, you’ll hear different schools use a catch phrase or slogan.  For example Alabama has Roll Tide, Texas Hook Em’ horns, Auburn War Eagle, Ole Miss Hotty Toddy, Rutgers Keep Choppin’, and Notre Dame Play Like a Champion and so on…

Last year a group of us started using STATE! as an exclamation of our fandom.  And since we are Arkansas State, I think it’s only appropriate we use the new catchword.  So, at the end of each fight song verse, yell STATE!!  Whenever ASU does something good yell STATE!!  If you have a good meal at one of our local restaurants give the waitress and friendly STATE!!

That is all…………STATE!!

Season Awaits………
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The 2012 ASU Red Wolves Football season is upon us.  Will this year be a continuation of the success we enjoyed last year or will we drop back to where we’re used toiling?

On paper, in the media, around town and everywhere in between ASU has become the talk of college football.  In the small span of about six months starting about this time last year ASU has gone from back to back 4-8 season (which I correctly picked) to last years 10-2 regular season record and undefeated in the Sunbelt Conference.  What a year!!!  For many of us this time of the year we proclaim “This is our year!”  If you’re fan of any length of time you’re probably saying “Last year was out year.”  And maybe it was, because it’s difficult to go undefeated in conference play no matter who the team is.

Now, I’m a fan who has watched a lot of ASU football over the years.  I’ve seen the eighties era Lacewell teams that were pretty good.  I’ve seen the ASU Football program close to being killed by a horrid and atrocious administration/coaching staff over a course of about 12 years. The likes of Al Kincaid, Ray Perkins, Charley Thornton, Barry Dowd, and Joe Hollis are just a few who I can remember driving ASU into a brick wall all the while me saying “This is our year!!” year in year out.  I’m not going to go into all of the various dynamics of Coach Roberts, Coach Freeze, and Coach Malzahn.  However it’s important to note Coach Roberts rebuilt the program to a certain point, Coach Freeze showed us that ASU can win, and Coach Malzahn has the reputation to make ASU relevant on a consistent basis.

I am a glass half empty kind of guy.  I know as an ASU fan what to expect on a regular basis.  Look at recent games like Troy in 2009 and WKU in 2010 where we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.  In the past we have lost heralded ASU quarterbacks in freak accidents.  We have fired a coach in the third quarter on Thanksgiving.  Actually that was a high point…  One season we had two games scheduled on the same day.  We let a BCS school out of a home game with no buyout and the list goes on.  SO, if I’m overly cautious and somewhat pessimistic, then I’m guilty as charged.  I don’t get real excited or entirely buy into the “Next Level” war cry.  I hope I’m wrong and look up in four years and ASU is playing in a BCS Bowl.   However, I believe last year was our year and I’m so happy I got to be a part of it.

8 and 0!! An undefeated season for the REDWOLVES!! (or as close as we can get). stAte
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stAte!!  Congratulations to the ASU RedWolves on what is in effect an UNDEFEATED season!  (The Rabid Wolf Club does not count money games, unless we win).  As the picture shows, the RWC supports the RedWolves 100%.  stAte  Even the lunch buddies were out last Saturday to watch the RedWolves rebuke the Troy Trojans.  stAte  The turf at ASU Stadium should be pregnant the way the RedWolves poked holes in the fighting condoms.  The Rabid Wolf Club finally recieved our due (about stAte time too) when the RWC was named “Tailgate of the Year” for the 2011 season.  stAte

While the RedWolves prepare to neuter the Northern Illinios Huskies, (thanks to Coaches Gunn, Siskey (SiskArmy) Heard, Hiller, Batoon and their guys) the RWC is in preparation for it’s all-out assault on Mobile.  Who knows, the legendary PAIN TRAIN may even violently engage the Mardi Gras parade.  stAte

GoDaddy Bowl.  Everyone knows that a huskie has no chance against a RABID pack of RedWolves.  stAte

Eleven wins in one season.  Believe it.  Say it again.  Eleven wins in one season.   Can a brother get a stAte?     stAte!!

 

Pig-ware wearing morons
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I don’t know if anyone else noticed the idiot on page B3 of our local fish wrapper/bird cage liner.  Page B3 consisted of a number of pictures taken at the Homecoming tailgate.  I am overlooking the fact that they didn’t take any of the clearly the best tailgate out there, the Pain Train led Rabid Wolf Tailgate.  No, they didn’t get a picture of us, but they did manage to include a picture of a MORON wearing a hog shirt!  Thank you Saundra Sovick, or should that be Sandra Soviet, you commie pinko!  Why?  Why must you include a picture of this idiot?  Were there just not enough people wearing Red Wolf apparel?   Even Token, our own pig-loving lunch buddie would never stoop so low as to wear his hog gear to an ASU tailgate.  And where was the sports editor, Kevin Turbeville?  Clearly asleep at the wheel, or is there something more sinister going on?  There have always been imbecile, wanna-be pigs wearing the colors at every game.   I know that a few of us have invited them to move on to the northwest Arkansas outpost if they love it so much.  And I salute Pledge Hootie Robinson for somewhat violently engaging one of MCLOVIN’S friends who dared to wear an Arkansas hat into our taligate, while the rest of us stood around, probably because he could have kicked our collective behinds.  Matthew V finally came around.  Maybe it is time for Carlos to earn his stripes by calling his good buddy Musso, as the Captain refers to him.  Or maybe it is time to sic’ the Possum on Saundra or Kevin.  I belive he has been poked.

Rabid Wolf Co-Athletes of the Month
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Congratulations to Kaily Nix and Taylor Zane, the Rabid Wolf Club Co-Athletes of the Month.  As most viewers know, the RWC is not an ELE (everybody love everybody) organization.  That is why we don’t have an athlete of the month every month.  In fact, we haven’t had one in almost 2 years.  That being said, Rabid Wolf pups Kaily “Serve” Nix and Taylor “Volley” Zane are so honored for their violent engagement of all opponents in the 6A East conference regular season and tournament, and 6A state tournament.   The JONESBORO High School doubles pair won their second individual state championship, and helped their team to a sixth straight state championship.   (Aside:  This proves that urban, inner-city school children can be successful without the benefit of going to a public/private, apple chasing, teach to the test, tractor driving, jug-band playing rich kids school)  The pair showed no mercy as they ran through the conference regular season, tournament, and state tournament without surrendering more than 2 games to any opponent in any set.   In fact, the Searcy team, after being dinged numerous times at the net by “Headhunter” Zane during the conference final, hardly ventured inside the baseline during the state final, prefering stay back and hit deep to “Run Everything Down” Nix, a strategy which also proved futile.  When asked what they were going to do to celebrate, the pair, (with apologies to Pimp Daddy) said that they were NOT going to Disneyworld, but were going to change their names to Kaily “Hot Shot” Nix and Taylor “Cool Block” Zane and prepare to transfer their aggression to the soccer pitch in the spring

RWC Travels To Monroe
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A small contingent of the RWC traveled to Monroe, LA. to watch the Red Wolves take on the War Hawks this past Saturday.  The 6:00 kick made it a long day of driving through some of the most desolate, forsaken land I’ve ever seen.

The group consisted of Possum, Mighty Mouth, a rushee, McLovin’, who drove his tank into lands that only looked habitable for deer & Sasquatches.  We also met Lil’ Dwight who we’re looking into possibly starting another satellite chapter.  Once we got into Louisiana the only thing we saw on the way to the stadium were drive thru daiquiri shops on every corner.  Louisiana should changes it’s license plate slogan to the “Daiquiri State”

Malone Stadium, what can I say?  What a dump.  Only the former Fouts Field at North Texas State was a bigger crap hole.  The home side soars to creepy heights.  It’s hard to describe how out of proportion it is, especially compared to the student side.  Speaking of the student side ULM has five FEMA trailers on stilts, painted gold they use as luxury boxes.  Of course in Louisiana I’m sure it is a luxury.  Check out the pictures.  If you look closely at the picture on the right you can see the luxury boxes.

We were heckled by several students who called us a variety of names.  McLovin’ was singled out for wearing Crocs (that was actually kind of funny).  As ASU made the come back most of the hecklers started to leave but there were a few left.  We told them all about it as the clock hit 0:00 and not even the crappy Sunbelt refs could the Red Wolves down, even though they tried with 13 penalties for 130 yards.  I personally have seen two road wins in a row and up until last week I had never seen a road victory.  With only two road games left our schedule sets up nicely although we have four tough teams to play.

The next RWC outing is an all day tailgating event on Tuesday October, 18th when the Red Wolves take on FIU for an ESPN2 broadcast.  Stay RABID my friends.